Human beings all over the world live a troubled life. Externally they may put up a show of happiness and joy but internally, there are issues to which they don’t have any answer, any response. If you really see clearly, all the striving for excitement is only an excuse to get away from the things or people which cause hurt.

All people want happiness for themselves. They seek for it in experiences, in work, in play, in books, in spirituality, in travel, in food, in relationships. Yet they don’t get lasting happiness. It is fleeting. So people have to constantly strive for getting it – running after one thing and then another.

Mostly people don’t have time to find the root cause of their issues. They are satisfied with fake instant solutions, even though the real problems are simmering deep down. The idea seems to be to get through life with as little problems and as much enjoyment as possible. All they are worried about in any scenario is what they can get out of it.

There may be at times inner promptings to them to seek something deeper, something of significance but such promptings are quickly brushed aside since they tend to slow them down. So most people in fact the majority of people are living in utter ignorance of the truth and reality. Maybe it is supposed to be that way.

But for the few who are inclined to go deeper at the cost of what other people may think of them, the realization of who they are awaits them. And it is every bit worth the effort.

So what makes a person inclined to go deeper? What makes him stop and question what is going on? What makes him reject the instant responses which earlier were his pet solutions? Probably there is some realization of the hollowness of such things. Something triggered such a realization – a deep emotional hurt or a physical loss of someone. The traditional answers no longer make sense.

Only in this situation, a person attempts to see directly without any explanation, without any support of books and teachings. He feels he is lost unless he is able to find that higher meaning to all that is happening. He will discern all answers carefully without trusting anyone. And it is possible that one day he may become enlightened and realize the full meaning of everything.

But has his heart changed? Not sure still. If he has been seeking enlightenment only for himself, he will still be bound with the last chain. His heart is still self-centered. He may want to share his teachings with others but he will not be able to do so. He will get a feeling of superiority – of having discovered the ultimate and others don’t know about it.

Such a realization does not generate compassion because the person is concerned with his own success. He may ignore others and go into a shell, become a recluse, staying away from society which is not up to his standards. He has discovered the ultimate with his own efforts and unless others put in the same effort, they will not realize that. He is willing to help but he wants others to approach him as a realized master. He has the feeling of entitlement that the world must respect such an individual who has realized the Buddha. This is spiritual pride.

One cannot let go of it with effort. Spiritual pride can go unnoticed for years altogether. The only way to discover it and accept it is by realizing that one is still suffering, one still is seeking followers and recognition, not for material success but for spiritual success. It is all the same game.

How silly. How shameful. How vain this all is.

If one really accepts oneself with all one’s faults, one becomes humble. One realizes the danger of what one is doing and becomes mindful of what one says and does. One realizes that he has never changed. He has been the same always all these years despite the glimpses of enlightenment, which were nevertheless genuine.

To live is to live consciously every moment, fully aware. One cannot be mechanical in this. Once awake, try not to go to sleep. Be aware of the inner promptings and follow them, instead of measuring one’s success on the spiritual ladder.

There is no enlightenment that one can talk about or teach others. One can only live an awakened life – a life of love and care.