Yesterday afternoon, I dropped my daughter off at her guitar class and parked my car in front of a closed laundry shop. Since the class was an hour long, I settled in with a book as I waited.

About half an hour later, someone knocked on my window. I looked up to see a balding man in a loose shirt and trousers, with a stubble. In a loud, slightly annoyed tone he said: “गाडी पुढे घे” (move the car ahead).

For a moment, I was stunned. I wasn’t blocking anyone; I was parked at the kerb. Then I realized—he was the laundry shop owner, wanting to park his two-wheeler in front of his shop, and my car was in the way.

I moved the car a few feet forward, but I found myself unsettled. It wasn’t what he said, but how he said it. I kept thinking about it and soon realized: he said “गाडी पुढे घे”. What I had expected was “गाडी पुढे घ्या.”

For those who know Marathi, the distinction is clear. घे is casual, often used with peers or those considered of lower status. घ्या, on the other hand, is polite and respectful, used for elders or those higher in status.

Why was I upset? Because I felt he hadn’t addressed me “politely.” Somewhere, unconsciously, I was thinking: I am a car owner, an educated person; surely, he should have the courtesy to use the proper words with me.

As I reflected further, I realized something uncomfortable. In my own interactions, I am polite to everyone—the maid at home, the building sweeper, the auto-rickshaw driver. I always use घ्या for strangers. And so, I expected the same courtesy in return.

But on thinking deeper, I recognized another truth. In Marathi, the casual घे is far more common in everyday speech, especially on the streets. For the shop owner, his language was normal and unfiltered. He wasn’t being rude—he was simply speaking the way he always does.

The real lesson here was not about language, but about triggers. If we aren’t aware of them, small things—like a single word—can upset us without our realizing why. But if we pause, observe our feelings, and trace them back to their source, we begin to see the trigger for what it is. And often, we see that the other person never intended to offend us at all. The sense of being offended is created because of our own tacit expectations.

So the next time you feel disturbed, pause and ask yourself: what exactly triggered me? Awareness is the first step to freedom.

Be aware. Be attentive. Be awake.