Some said she was mad. That she was taken to a psychiatrist in the past was reason enough to declare her mad. And also the information that she went into depression 3 times was supposed to make it clear that she is mad. And it is easy for anyone to believe so, based on the information given, especially if it comes from someone who is close to you and who is ‘clearly’ not mad. Further it is possible, you might hear the same thing from multiple people, which reinforces the notion.
From the above, it would seem that only a person who is not mad can recognize a person who is mad. But if we give it some thought, it would be clear that it would not be possible for a person who claims to be not mad to recognize another who is mad. How does he know? Has he been mad before to know intimately that the other person is mad? Or is he an expert in the field of madness?
Come to think of it, the psychiatrists who treat their patients do not think that they are mad. Then what makes it so easy for us to judge someone as mad. Do we have any checklist for coming to that conclusion? I guess not. So why do we accept so easily that she is mad. Is it that we trust the person who reports it? Do we believe that the person has verified it for himself and has enough proof of the same? Or accepting someone as mad makes us feel superior in comparison? If she is mad, then I am not.
Once I accept that she is mad, then my behavior towards her will be colored by that judgement. I may avoid her. I may be careful in speaking to her. And I will ignore or discount anything she says because after all she is mad. And a mad person can say nothing of significance.
If I am the sort of person who does not think and evaluate the information I receive, then I am happy with the ‘knowledge’ that she is mad. I am only interested in taking advantage of such tips. I would think to myself – Thanks for telling me. It will save my time as I do not have to deal with her now.
But if I am the sort of person who knows, maybe through past experience, that just hearing from someone that she is mad is not enough for me to get a full understanding of the situation, then I will reserve my judgment on her. I will only make a note of the statement that someone made with respect to her and leave it at that. I am in no hurry to accept it as a fact.
If I am never going to meet her, then what is the point of carrying this information with me? And if I simply want to share this information with others then I am clearly acting like the person who simply forwards Whatsapp messages without restraint.
However, if I happen to meet her then I have the opportunity of knowing for myself whether she is mad or not. But in this case, it is difficult for most people to be objective. The previous information gathered from hearsay might lead one to perceive all her behavior as that of a mad person. And in this perception, one forgets that one is not an expert in this field of madness anyway so how can one make a proper assessment?
I can only observe that she is different. She speaks differently, reacts differently, behaves differently. Is that enough for me to come to a conclusion about her being mad?
Do I want her to be normal? What does normal mean anyway? Does it mean like me? Or some ideal I have in mind? Expecting someone to be someone else is like saying I was expecting blue to be green and orange to be red. But blue is blue and green is green. Everything is as it is, despite our wishes about it. A person is far more complex than a color.
What if I allow her to be – allow her to be the way she is. Does it really matter whether we categorize her as mad or not mad? If we do not conclude anything, then there is nothing more to do. The question whether she is mad or not mad is no longer important.
It is easy to label an image of a person in the mind as mad but when you meet a person in the flesh, that description is insufficient to capture the entire essence of the person. So there is no choice but to drop the conclusion, to drop the judgment and let the person go free.