Category Archives: Conversations

A Conversation on War, Perception, and Conscience

On Knowing Oneself, Nature of Reality, Conversations, ,

I met a friend M at a café. What began as a casual conversation took an interesting turn.

M: Crazy things going on in the world right now, isn’t it?

Me: You mean the war?

M: Yes. It feels wrong. The way the USA has approached Iran, and how it presents itself as the righteous side — it feels hard to accept.

At this point, most conversations drift in a familiar direction — recounting mistakes, exchanging opinions, or even mocking those involved.
But rarely do they go deeper.

Me: That may be true. But there’s something we often miss.

M: What?

Me: You and I can look at these actions and call them wrong or even foolish. But do you think those taking these actions see them that way?

I doubt it.

From their perspective, they are doing the right thing. In fact, they may feel the world is unfairly criticizing them and not supporting their effort.

M: What do you mean?

Me: Take the USA — or more specifically, leaders like Donald Trump and those who support such decisions. They are not directly experiencing what people on the receiving end of bombings go through.

From where they stand, their actions make sense.

They may genuinely believe that a nuclear-armed Iran is a threat to US interests and global stability — and that such a threat must be eliminated.

Iran, on the other hand, has lived under sanctions for decades and sees US military presence in neighbouring regions. From their perspective, developing nuclear capability may feel like the only way to deter aggression.

So both sides may claim they want peace.

And yet, their actions lead to war — the opposite of peace.

M: So are you saying both USA and Iran are right?

Me: I’m not focusing on who is right or wrong. That’s difficult to conclude.

What matters is this:

Our actions are shaped by how we see the situation.

How we see drives how we act. And that is what creates the wide range of situations and experiences we see in the world.

M: Can you explain that further?

Me: Donald Trump has spoken about wanting peace, even positioning himself as someone deserving recognition for it. Yet his actions — such as withdrawing from agreements and choosing military responses — appear misaligned with that intention.

But from his perspective, the world looks different.

If you see Iran as a serious and immediate threat, your actions will reflect that perception. He sees himself leading the world’s most powerful military — so why not use it to neutralize that threat?

Similarly, Iran may see itself as acting defensively. It knows that countries with nuclear capability are rarely challenged. With US bases surrounding it, the threat feels constant. From that view, nuclear capability becomes a deterrent.

So the USA sees Iran as a threat that must be stopped.

Iran sees nuclear capability as necessary for survival.

Both may want peace — but their perceptions lead to actions that create conflict.

M: That’s interesting. But what will make them change?

Me: I don’t know about Trump specifically. But in my experience, change comes from clear seeing.

When I see clearly — without justifying, without blaming others — that my actions are not aligned with my intention, or when I truly feel the impact of my actions on others, something shifts.

What we call conscience awakens.

And only that can change how we act.

M: Can you give an example?

Me: Sometimes individuals step away from positions of power or responsibility when they realize their actions are not aligned with what they truly stand for. You may have heard of officials in the Trump administration who resigned.

Not out of guilt.

But out of clarity.

M: So are you saying those who go to war have no conscience?

Me: It’s more subtle than that.

It’s not that people lack conscience.

It’s that it often remains dormant.

Most of us lose touch with our deeper intention. We move through life mechanically. In that process, our actions drift away from what we would truly stand for.

When that gap is not seen, nothing changes. We continue to justify our actions.

But when someone pauses, reflects, and clearly sees the mismatch between intention and action, conscience can awaken.

And with that clarity, action changes naturally, without any external force.

M: So one must remember one’s intention?

Me: Yes.

Deep Conversation in a Café

Conversations, Nature of Reality, On Knowing Oneself,

A recent conversation with my friend S in a café.

Me: Life is uncertain. Don’t you think? Anything can happen anytime.

Friend: Yes, so go ahead and enjoy it while it lasts. Why are you worried and always trying to show the fleeting side of it?

Me: But don’t you see what’s happening in the world?

Friend: How does that affect you?

Me: Don’t be so naïve. Even if it doesn’t affect you now, it will in a few months. Everything is connected. You have a cushion to protect you from shocks. Not everyone has it.

Friend (thinking): True. But what can you do about it? These forces are beyond your control. And one thing is sure — worrying about it won’t make it better.

Me: My point is not about worrying. My point is — why are we not seeing? Why are we ignoring what’s happening and going on with our lives as if nothing is happening? We are turning a blind eye.

Friend: It’s not like that. One person can’t do much even if they see what’s going on. Don’t you have a family to take care of? You must enjoy your life while you can. Why bother about things happening elsewhere that don’t concern you?

This is the challenge with most people. We don’t see the whole picture. We see only what is happening in our own lives. And eventually, when things don’t go right for us, we experience the same apathy from others. Then we complain — why is no one bothered? Why does no one see? We want others to look at us. But we don’t want to look at others. This is how we are conditioned. But it is conditioning. And it can be seen.

Me: Hear me out. Let’s try to understand.

You go to work to earn money. With that money, you enjoy life. You feel you are doing well. You earned it, so you deserve it.

But look closely — this is a setup.

You are born into it. You are told to pursue education, get a job, build a life. And once you do, you feel you’ve succeeded. You left others behind. You are smart, capable.

But something else happens quietly.

You become afraid of losing it.

This life pulls you into its vortex. You run faster and faster.

Yes, there are good moments — travel, experiences, comfort.

But underneath it all, your life becomes structured and narrow.

Home → car → office → car → home.

Maybe an airport. Maybe a restaurant. Then back again.

You don’t really know what lies beyond this loop.

You are isolated from the larger movement of life.

As you grow older, the pressure increases —

on your relationships, your health, your mind.

And even if you want to step out, you can’t.

The best you get is a two-week vacation.

Friend: What’s your point? It sounds depressing. Why focus on the negative side?

Me: I’m not talking about everyone.

There are people struggling every day just to survive. For them, meaning and purpose are not the priority. They need solutions, not philosophy.

But there are others — like you and me.

We are in a more comfortable position. We have time. We have stability.

So what do we do with that space?

We work more.

Or we distract ourselves.

Friend: What is there to find out? Not everyone is spiritually inclined like you. People want to enjoy life. What’s wrong with that? If I’ve earned money, shouldn’t I enjoy it?

Me: It’s not about spirituality or giving things up.

It’s about reality.

I’m saying — you are not really living in the real world.

It’s like being born in Disneyland and believing the cartoon characters are real.

You never question.

You never wonder.

And I don’t blame you.

You were given answers early in life — so you stopped looking for yourself.

This is where most conversations end. People disengage. They return to their phones, messages, news. Curiosity has been slowly replaced by information. We were trained to accumulate knowledge — not to inquire. To rekindle that curiosity is difficult. Sometimes, it takes a shock.

Friend: So what do you want me to see?

Me: Look — you believe you are S.

But are you really?

Others told you that. It’s written on your birth certificate, your Aadhaar card. You can prove it.

But that is just a name.

Who are you, really?

Have you ever wondered about this simple fact — that you are alive?

Or do you just carry on mechanically?

It is possible to live like this — comfortably, in this constructed world.

But if curiosity is rekindled, something changes.

You begin to look.

Beyond the structure. Beyond the story.

And in that moment of seeing, you experience yourself as the one who sees.

Beyond identity. Beyond labels.

At that point, words fall short.

From there, you have to see for yourself.

Friend: (looks at me in disbelief)

“Okay…Sounds nice. Let’s go now. Please ask for the bill.”

Healing, Presence & the Inner Journey

Conversations, Reflections

In conversation with Rupali Raut, HealingHearts

Rupali: Beyond your roles, how do you see yourself?

Yogesh: Beyond my roles, I see myself as a very ordinary person. There is nothing special about me. Just someone living life as it unfolds.

Rupali: How does your day look now, especially after leaving corporate life?

Yogesh: My days are simple and peaceful.

Earlier, waking up felt forced. Now, I wake up with clarity and interest. It’s no longer about achievements or targets. It’s about being myself and doing work that feels aligned.

Practically, my day includes counseling sessions, creating content, recording videos, and some marketing work. Evenings are spent with family. Overall, life feels calm and meaningful.

Rupali: What has been your toughest emotional or mental struggle in life?

Yogesh: Everyone faces struggles. What matters is what we do with them.

My biggest struggle began early in my career, when I became deeply drawn to the inner journey. I realized that the person I was projecting to the world wasn’t real. I was trying to prove that I was intelligent, capable, or “good.”

That realization shook me. It felt like my entire identity was false.

But instead of suppressing it, I stayed with the question: Who am I, really?

That struggle became the doorway to my inner journey and changed the direction of my life.

Rupali: What does “healing” mean to you personally?

Yogesh: Healing is simple.

When you’re hurt, you need to recover — physically, emotionally, and psychologically. Healing means resting, allowing recovery, and returning to a state where you can engage with life fully again.

Rupali: How did healing play a role during your struggles?

Yogesh: Initially, healing helps you return to “normal.” But normal still leaves you vulnerable to getting hurt again.

I was searching for something deeper — a way of understanding where emotional and psychological hurt reduces fundamentally.

Healing is important. But beyond healing lies understanding. When understanding deepens, you suffer less — and therefore need less healing.

Rupali: What drew you toward spirituality during that phase?

Yogesh: Pain pushes you to look for answers quickly.

I explored many paths — books, teachers, retreats, meditation camps, and travel.

Eventually, with enough rest and inner attention, my search shifted. I was no longer looking for relief, but for truth — something that would free me at the root.

Rupali: What did you actually discover about yourself?

Yogesh: It’s difficult to explain.

The closest analogy is tasting a mango. No description can replace the experience.

I can only point and encourage someone to look. The understanding has to be direct and personal.

Rupali: Did your understanding of spirituality and healing change over time?

Yogesh: Yes, significantly.

In daily life, “big picture” often means adding more knowledge. But in my work, the Big Picture is revealed by dropping ideas, beliefs, and labels.

When concepts fall away, something remains.

That seeing is immediate. It’s not gradual. You don’t reach it by seeking. It appears when seeking stops.

Rupali: Can people with serious mental health conditions follow this path?

Yogesh: The probability is lower, though not impossible.

Deep inquiry requires energy, presence, and stability. Someone dealing with severe distress first needs support to regain balance.

That said, even otherwise healthy people often miss the opportunity by staying distracted.

The invitation to self-discovery exists for anyone who is available and willing.

Rupali: What do you do when you feel low or overwhelmed?

Yogesh: I notice the emotion and allow it to move through.

Emotions are energy in motion. If you don’t interfere with them through excessive thinking, they naturally subside.

I allow the wave to come and go.

Rupali: What would you say to someone tired of “trying to heal”?

Yogesh: Being stuck is okay — as long as you know you are stuck.

Don’t repeat methods that clearly don’t work. Try different approaches, but always check your direct experience.

No one truly knows what will work for whom.

Rupali: Is there a daily practice that supports you?

Yogesh: Every day, I spend a few minutes returning to the source — the place where thoughts and identities dissolve.

From there, clarity and energy arise. Then I can step into roles and responsibilities without being lost in them.

Rupali: What does “being present” mean in daily life?

Yogesh: Being present simply means attending.

Like answering “present” during school attendance — you are available to respond to what is happening now.

Rupali: How do you deal with difficult emotions when they arise?

Yogesh: I don’t fight or fix them. I let them pass.

Problems arise when we act or think excessively during emotional peaks. If left alone, emotions dissolve naturally.

Rupali: What is Zen Counseling?

Yogesh: Zen Counseling helps people find their own clarity without being given advice.

Problems arise in the mind, and so do solutions. External advice often adds confusion.

Through deep listening and inquiry, clarity emerges naturally.

Rupali: What is the Seeker’s Compass and how do you support seekers today?

Yogesh: The Seeker’s Compass is an assessment based on my own journey. It helps people understand where they are in their inner search.

Through one-on-one dialogue, I help seekers question assumptions that may be blocking clarity.

The real work is theirs. I simply help them find the right direction — to discover their own “mango.”

Scrolling till Enlightenment

Conversations, Enlightenment, On Knowing Oneself, Stories, Zen, , , ,

Yesterday, late in the afternoon, after a sumptuous lunch, I was doing nothing (i.e. scrolling reels). I came across Shakespeare’s quote from King Lear

I paused to reflect – Am I doing something or doing nothing? I started to feel a bit uneasy & guilty. However, the next reel raised my spirit.

I relaxed on reading that. It was very sound advice but it lasted only a few reels until I came across Henry David Thoreau.

I had to read that a few times before it sank in. Having nothing to do, I must still do something. What could that be? As I was reflecting on what to do, I got the answer on the 12th reel.

Zen sayings have a magical effect. They stop your thinking and make you wonder. I couldn’t agree more. Everything happens on its own. Who am I to do something?

Energized by that I now aimed for perfection. However just then Robert Schuller, the author of ‘Tough Times Never Last but Tough People Do’ pitched in

Oh. Is it so? Doubts started to creep in about my doing nothing even though I did it perfectly. How can one handle such criticism? As I browsed through reels striving to achieve clarity. Aristotle made an appearance and helped me find inner peace by pointing out in a typically Greek way

I thought to myself that there must be some truth to his advice since no one criticized him for so many centuries for putting the Earth in the center of the Universe. I continued scrolling further…

Even before I could figure out what that ‘SOMETHING’ to do was…

I thought I finally found that ‘SOMETHING’ to do – ‘NOTHING’!

In a way the previous two quotes seemed to cancel each other. I wonder what Keillor and Lounsbrough would have discussed over a cup of coffee.

But I don’t like to regret my actions later. What if I was supposed to DO SOMETHING but I did NOTHING. Or what if I was supposed to DO NOTHING but did SOMETHING? Wouldn’t it be a disaster?

To hell with that.

Things were really getting heated up (My phone was also feeling warm in my hands). It was like nearing the climax of a mystery. Anytime now it would become crystal clear what I needed to do.

To Do or Not To do That is the Question!

The anticipation brought me to Warren Buffet, arguably the greatest ‘INVESTOR OF ALL TIME’ [unlike me]

I was going to settle on that as the final word when I heard my wife shout from the other room

I had asked you in the morning to get some fruits and vegetables. DID YOU GET IT?

In that moment I got enlightened.

Two Sides of a Coin?

Conversations, Enlightenment, Language, Metaphors

What if I fall?

Oh, but my darling what if you fly! 

Erin Hanson

Essentially this line spells one thing, that there are two sides to a coin. One is the dark one, the negative and scary side, while the other, is the bright one, the positive one that is so encouraging and reassuring. 

Life throws a million chances and opportunities at us just like this one, where we either fly or end up falling. So what is it that life is trying to teach? Is it sheer luck or is there something more to it? The answer probably lies in the way we try to perceive each incident. Every situation can be seen from two sides – the positive as well as the negative. 

For instance when we experience happiness on winning a game or gaining a promotion do we really think of the flip side of it? Probably not, because we are too immersed in the happy moment. The flip side of a win can be that we may have to double the efforts to make sure that we keep winning the game which means more hard work. The flip side of a promotion can be that we must handle greater responsibility and work more at proving ourselves as a worthy choice. We might fail at these things can’t we. On the other side when we suddenly lose someone dear to us, we fall into a grief so deep that we hardly realise that it is strengthening us from the inside and making us resilient to stand up again even when we are hurt. That is a powerful positive side to a bad incident. 

So in effect, what we must learn and appreciate about each experience is that every time it happens, it teaches us something. What use is anything that happens in life, if we do not rise up higher in our understanding and realisation through the experience? Just like a coin even life has two sides and we must accept each with grace. 

We must always remember that the good times come for a price that must be paid and the bad times come with lessons that must be learnt. 

#nehaism – Neha Joshi

One fine day, I explained about the two sides of a coin to Neha and asked her to write about it. While, what she has written above summarizes what I explained to her, she did not think about it deeply and thus missed the essence. The two sides of a coin is an oft-used analogy to help people understand that life is not one-sided. It is used especially to advise people who are habituated to look at life from a single viewpoint or who are caught in a specific life situation. The fact that reminding people of this analogy gives them relief is the proof they need that they were stuck in one sided views.

However, the point that this analogy misses is that a coin does not have two sides (surprised!?). It just appears to have two sides. It actually has more than 2 sides. Consider the thickness at the circumference. That’s the third side. Further, if you observe the coin under a microscope, you will see infinitely more surfaces and sides.

So the point is not to jump to the conclusion that life is colorful and not black and white, which is fine to a certain extent. But what is more difficult to do, and what is needed, is to stop counting the colors or the sides.

Now, one might quickly jump to another conclusion (a conclusion is a kind of a solidified hardened view and most people like to jump to it) that we should take life as it comes. Unfortunately, that too is a view that can be countered by its opposite (two sides of the coin view – take control of your life) or the multi-color view of life (experience everything that life has to offer).

While these views can help us in many ways, ultimately, they are mere views. Is it possible to be free of all views? Because only when you can be free of all views, can you see life in all its pristine beauty and know you are ‘that which views’ and ‘that which is viewed’.

Do You Need a Guru?

Conversations,

A close friend once wrote to me about her dilemma:

They say you get a guru when it’s the right time. Some say you always have a guru – you just need to identify him. Learning from nature is fine, identifying a guru in situations and people around is again fine – but it is easier said than done, isn’t it? If there is someone who physically holds your ears and tells you – that you are foolish running after this, or this is just an illusion, beware! – then progress would be faster isn’t it? Sometimes I feel so lost, I just feel there should be some guru in human form to guide me through.

My reply to her:

A really good question indeed.

The answer is surprisingly simple. You need a guru because you think you are lost. But when you realize who you are, you SEE and that’s it. Then there is no need for a guru.

As they say in Zen Buddhism, one has to pass through the gateless gate. Once you pass through the gate, you realize there was no gate in the first place. The gate, the passing, the person who shows the path to the gate – all was just a dream.

In other Buddhist symbolism, the enlightenment is likened to crossing a river. The teachings are a raft on which you cross. But when you reach the other bank, you realize there was no river at all, no crossing, no raft, no guru.

To a normal (actually abnormal) mind which is trained in duality and conceptual thinking, such ideas as the above seem paradoxical. And therefore, one keeps on searching for a guru who can explain this paradox and sort out matters. But in actuality, the only hurdle one has to cross is one’s own mind and one’s own conceptual thinking.

Even the guru cannot help someone who is not ready to listen. And what is listening? It is not understanding in terms of concepts and logical ideas. Listening is having no mind to analyze and judge. When your mind stops analyzing; when it listens with its senses, then you are present in the NOW and you do not need to go anywhere else. You have reached home.

Now if you are able to listen deeply to what I have said, you can see immediately the truth of it and the falsity of a guru.

The mind describes a desired outcome and seeks it constantly. And when it is lost, as it usually is, it searches for a guide. But if only we can drop the search, knowing that it is only the restless mind at work, we can remain in the present moment.

How can there be a path and direction to come to the present moment?

It is possible that one hears some teachings of a particular man and gets the insight. Then that man becomes a guru for him but that is only as a mark of respect. The real work was done by the person who listened, not by the guru. Therefore, they say that one can learn from nature because nature changes every moment and if you follow the previous moment, you are dreaming. As soon as you realize you are dreaming, you are already awake. That’s all.